An imaginary letter (actually, it’s a rant)
Dear X,
I have to tell you about my new man. He’s older than me. Much older. Perhaps that’s why he’s a bit condescending – he often calls me absurd and thinks he knows better than me about stuff like whether I want to go to the prom or go to University. And he hates my friends. Calls them shallow, so I don’t see them any more.
I admit our relationship isn’t perfect. There was this one time he broke up with me, then threatened to kill himself. Oh, and he got his sister to kidnap me, and slashed my tyres. Oh, and sometimes he breaks into my house and watches me sleep without me knowing. And he does spend a lot of time telling me how much he wants to kill me.
So, because we’d been together for a while, I wanted to take our relationship to… you know… the next level. Physically. But he wouldn’t do it unless I married him. I wasn’t really sure about that, I mean, I am only 18 and it seemed like a Big Deal. But I said yes, even though on my wedding day I couldn’t bear to even look at my wedding dress.
The Big Night on the honeymoon was… well, not quite what I was expecting. I woke up the next morning all covered in bruises, and my new husband would barely speak to me, let alone touch me or be intimate in any way. Oh well, the good news is, now I’m pregnant so I guess we won’t ever have to do any of it again.
Best Wishes,
Bella.
Sorry, Alexandra, but I just don’t agree. Edward is a very, very long way from being the perfect boyfriend. He’s not a gentleman and a SNAG – he’s abusive. I have met countless teenage boys in recent years who are sweet, imaginative, curious, vulnerable and desperately want to form an emotional connection with a Significant Other. And articles like that, and books like Twilight, perpetrate these ridiculous nonsense ideas of masculinity that insecure boys feel like they have to conform to. Perhaps it’s time to start looking past the preppy schoolboy haircuts and start paying attention to personality.
Oh my lord.
Just gobsmacked. And perhaps a little terrified.
Thanks for sticking up for the teenage boys there, Lili. I’m long since past my teenage years, but I had enough to be miserable about in the girl department back then without thinking I’d need superhuman powers, sparkles and poetic cliché at my disposal to attract a belle (or Bella).
You’ve got to pity teenage boys in the Adornetto world-view: not only do they have to aspire to this gothic ideal, they’re also apparently so one-dimensional as to fit into one of three categories, none of which are presented particularly positively. Boys are people too — even if they’re not vampire people!
Ha ha, brilliant Lili!
I’m always gobsmacked that Edward is pointed to as a sparkling example (sorry) of the perfect man when, yes, he is possessive and abusive. I look at how much damage this book has done to our perceptions of the perfect male character and how conservative we are right now with regards to sexuality in mainstream YA fiction, and I get very distressed wondering what the long-term repercussions will be.
Then I take a deep breath and remember there are wonderful authors like Lili Wilkinson writing fantastic, strong characters like Ava and that means that everything will be okay.
I was laughing along with your post until I reached the end, where I started uttering ‘oh no, oh no’ and alas, my worst fears were realised…
Oh Alexandra, what have you done?!
Megan, It’s not the first time that Alexandra’s gone all preachy about self-respect by hanging onto your “v-plates”, and being wary of those filthy teenage boys…
http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/guard-your-virginity-once-lost-its-its–gone-forever-20100130-n5g9.html
I’m reading ‘Diary of a Wimpy Vampire’ at the moment. Nice antidote to Twilight.
I think the biggest thing poor Alexandra forgot is that EDWARD CULLEN IS NOT REAL. Were I still a teenage girl, I think I’d rather have a normal teenage boy–warts and all–than pine for a fictional character.
You rock, Lili!
Well, clearly, apart from a small minority, teenage boys fall into three distinct categories: macho, metro or just plain muddled. Considering I’m ready to catch a ball five seconds after it’s hit me in the face (cross out “macho”), couldn’t coordinate an outfit if I tried (cross out “metro”), I’m just “plain muddled”. Great. She could do far worse.
Nicely said, Lili.
The obvious response to Alexandra’s rather silly article is this: would we tolerate a male writer (of any age) writing a similarly snarly piece about the general uselessness and unlikaeblility of all teenage girls. The answer is, clearly, no. I don’t mean to patronise Alexandra, but some extent I blame the editor at The Age for letting this through. Like the infamous ‘v’ plates article, someone should have said, “Alexandra, I know you mean well, but if we publish this, it will bite you, and bite you hard. And possibly bite you again some years down the track.”
[...] mean article) were the comments afterwards, standing up for non-cookie-cutter boys. There was also this very good, creative response from author Lili Wilkinson, and another very good riposte by author William [...]