Did you know that Nora Roberts has had 173 New York Times bestselling novels, but the New York Times has only reviewed her twice? This seems kind of insane.

ANYWAY, none of that is actually from the book I’m clutching today.

Beyond Heaving Bosoms: A Smart Bitches Guide to Romance Novels is the book written by Sarah Wendell and Candy Tan, the two writers who head up the Smart Bitches Trashy Books blog. It’s about the romance genre – its strengths, its weaknesses, its horrendously ugly covers*. The book is funny and irreverent and excellently filthy. In it, I learnt about the romance hero’s Mighty Wang, and the heroine’s Magic Hoo Hoo. I learnt that no romance writer seems to know where the hymen is. And I discovered the term “man-titty” (think Fabio bare chested romance covers), and I’ll be forever grateful for that.

As a relative newcomer to the genre, the book was delightfully funny and informative. I learnt about the rapeyness of Old School Romance, and how the genre changed in the 70s along with, well, just about everything else for women. Much like the Smart Bitches themselves, the romance genre is now savvy, sassy and empowering.

If you want to learn about the genre in a light, fun but still solidly awesome way, as well as get a whole bunch of romance book recommendations and participate in a Choose Your Own Romance Adventure story that may or may not end up with tentacle sex, then I highly recommend Beyond Heaving Bosoms.

*Oh, and as I have learnt – those covers bear absolutely no resemblance to the plot, story or characters. None at all. They’re usually not even from the same historical period.

You could say that John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars is about a girl with cancer. This immediately makes it sound like a problem novel, to go on the shelf next to the one about the girl with the eating disorder, the boy who gets cyber-bullied*, and the girl who has an abortion.

But that isn’t where this book belongs, and I think I’ve finally figured out why.

There is a girl with cancer in TFIOS. But the book is so much more than that. It’s about all sorts of other things, things you would expect in a John Green book. It’s about love, and introspection, and video-games, and death, and the meaning of life (or at least humanity’s search for a meaning of life). It’s funny and irreverent. It’s about literature and the power of made-up stories, and the inevitably fallibility of the people who make them up. It’s beautiful and sad and I couldn’t put it down.

I think what makes a problem novel a problem novel is that it’s only about that one problem. The book lives and breathes its issue, and its characters are just vehicles for exploring that issue. Some of these books are produced from a genuine desire to help teenage readers, others are preying on the adolescent desire to be shocked. There is a place for both kinds of books, and I don’t want to suggest there isn’t. I loved the problem novel as a teen, devoured it alongside my old friends the Doorstopper Fantasy Tome and The Babysitter’s Club.

And I also hate the distinction between books that are just generally entertaining, and Proper Quality Highbrow Literature. But for today I’d like to distinguish between Books That Are Just Fun To Read and Books That Make You Think About Lots Of Things.

I like both. I’m certainly enjoying devouring lots of regency romances at the moment, and they don’t usually make me Think About Lots of Things (there are always exceptions). That’s one of the reasons why I like them – it’s a great way to wind down when I’ve been spending all day with my head in my PhD.

But occasionally you will read a book that does Make You Think About Lots Of Things, and it isn’t necessarily a Great Classic. It might be funny. It might be romantic. It might have a pink, sparkly cover. It might be a picture book. Or A Doorstopper Fantasy Tome*.  Or it might be John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars.

And you will read the book. You may laugh (I did). You may cry (I did). You will live in someone else’s life for a little while, look at the world through someone else’s eyes.

And you will be changed. You will put the book down (with only a slightly guilty look at the pile of things you should have spent the day doing), and you will Think About Lots Of Things.

This, to me, is the very best kind of book.

*don’t get me started.

**it is unlikely to be a Babysitters Club book, but you never know.

Remember how that one time I finished NaNoWriMo? In, like, 2009? Well this is the resulting novel, after some heroic editing on behalf of the Onions, and my wonderful friend @snazdoll.

More on this anon!

It’s been declared

A Stonewall Honor Book
This is an ALA Award for books of “exceptional merit relating to the gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender experience”.

as well as being on the

Amelia Bloomer List
Another ALA honour, this time for “the best books with significant feminist content that will appeal to young readers from birth to 18 years old”.

and the

2012 Rainbow Room List
This one is from the a joint task force of the Social Responsibilities Round Table and the Gay, Lesbian, Transgender and Queer Round Table of the American Library Association.

and finally the

Reluctant Young Adult Readers List
Hurrah!

I’m so pleased – not just because it’s my book, but pleased that funny, pink books that are light but not insubstantial and still have Stuff To Say are getting recognised. I’m actually about to sit down and write a chapter for my PhD about the subversively political nature of chick lit, so this couldn’t have come at a better time!

That’s from this article what I wrote for Meanjin. It’s pretty closely linked to the work I’m doing for my PhD.

Oh, and a month or so ago I had my First Ever Academic Journal Article published in Write4Children, edited by the wonderful Anthony Eaton. My article is what’s called a “practice-led paper” which means I talk about the Important Philosophical Theory behind my novel Pink. It’s in Volume 3, Issue 1, and can be found here.

AND, I have a chapter in a new book called Read to Succeed: strategies to engage children and young people in reading for pleasure.

Speaking of writing, I’m sure you’re all be pleased to know that I finished my personal NaNoWriMo target of 20,000 words. Hurrah!

Now I’m getting my Christmas on (I know, shocking, right?) – yesterday I made candied peel, ginger-and-orange cordial and ginger-and-honey infused whiskey before heading over to Mum’s and making six dozen mince pies and a Christmas cake. Then I was all domestic goddessed out, so Mj and I ordered pizza for dinner.

The batter

• 220g plain flour
• 60g potato flour or cornflour
• 200ml dashi (a kind of miso-like stock – easy to find in Asian groceries)
• 2 eggs

Mix all these things together.

The filling

• 3-400g roughly chopped cabbage
• 20g pickled ginger
• 160-200g of The Things You Like

This is the fun part. Adam Liaw’s recipe calls for 100g of raw peeled prawns and 60g of cheddar cheese – which sounds kind of weird but is excellent. I’m partial to pickled baby octopus and mushroom. Chicken and mushroom is good too. Just whatever you feel like. Add this mix to your batter.

The cooking

This amount of mix will make three or four reasonable sized okonomiyaki, or two really big ones. It’s plenty for 3 people. Put some vegetable oil in a frying pan, and add half the mixture (for two okonomiyaki, or a quarter if you want to make smaller ones). Spread it out into a circle and cook for about 7 minutes, or until the base is brown. Flip it over and poke some holes in the top to let steam out. Cook for another 5 minutes, or until cooked through. Repeat until all your mix is gone.

The topping

• okonomiyaki sauce
• Kewpie mayonnaise
• dried bonito flakes
• powdered seaweed

All of this can be found at your local Asian supermarket. Add it to your pancake and NOM IT ALL.

But I was wrong!

The Name of the Star has all of those things, PLUS a London boarding school, some Historical Colour, life-threatening danger AND (teeny spoiler) a little paranormal mystery.

Rory Deveaux is a Louisiana teenager, recently moved to London to attend a posh private boarding school. But everything is not alright in London. A serial killer is on the loose, mimicking the brutal 19th century crimes of Jack the Ripper. Rippermania takes over London – everyone is equal parts paranoid and excited. But the case is a stumper. How come none of London’s seventy squillion CCTV cameras have spotted the killer? Who is that strange man that Rory saw lurking around on the night of the murder, and why didn’t her room-mate see him? And, what was that? Sekrit London police squad of spunky young people who share an Unusual Ability? I’m in.

Dear Maureen. When is the next one out? Can it be sooner? Thanks, Lili.

(you can read the first 78 pages on Maureen’s website)

(This post is part of an occasional series where I talk about books I like. They’re not reviews – I’m calling them book clutches, because they’re all books that I want to clutch close to me.)

BUT I’m not expecting to finish, nor am I working on one single project. I’m using the pressure to get some serious words down on both my PhD novel and my Next Book which at the moment is nothing more than a two-page synopsis. If I can do 10 000 words on each, I’ll be stoked.

I thrive under pressure and competition, what can I say?

• Noise cancelling headphones. We bought these ones for about $70 online, and they are AMAZING. They use phase cancellation, which means they emit (very quiet) sound at exactly the same frequency as is going in – which basically cancels out the original sound. In short, they work with magic. Apparently low-frequency noises cause anxiety in humans (I guess instinct says LION! EARTHQUAKE! RUN!) and the loudness of planes causes extra fatigue – particularly as you have to turn up the sound on your little telly all the way (our headphones came with an airline adaptor!). These cut out most of the aircraft rumble, making the whole flight feel more serene.
• Change into trackies. Either as soon as you board, or just before. Trackies, a comfy top, and a comfy (or no) bra. This way you are comfortable for the flight, more likely to sleep, AND you’ll have almost-clean clothes to get into when you arrive at your destination.
• Drink as much water as possible.
• If you’re on an Asian airline, always choose the Asian meal.

For the US

• Get some Metamucil and multivitamins. In the big cities there is great food, but once you hit the middle, there is A LOT of fried, and not much green.
• Got an iPhone? Get an AT&T sim from eBay before you leave. Register it online with any US address (but don’t try and put credit on it). Call your service provider and ask them to unlock your phone. In the US, pop your new sim in, and find a wifi network. Go to unlockit.co.nz and follow the instructions there to change your APN. Then go to the AT&T website and put credit and data on your phone (where it wants you to pick a state for your credit card, there’s an option that says something like Outside US). Done!
• Priceline.com is an excellent way to book posh hotels on the cheap. Only once did we feel like we’d been given the “Priceline room”.
• Having said that, the posher the hotel, the pricier the wifi…
• …and the less stuff you get – no coffee-maker or kettle, no iron, no fridge – but you get all that in a cheap motel.
• But the posh hotels have very comfortable king-size beds, great pillows, and ace showers.
• The tipping system is ridiculously complicated. Get an app to help you out.
• Wholefoods is an organic supermarket with a wonderful salad bar. There’s one in most cities. You will need it in the middle.
• If you’re driving a lot, pop into a Best Buy and grab a GPS. Our car hire company wanted to charge us $10 a day to hire one (which would have ended up being $280), so we bought one for $105, which Best Buy replaced for free when I accidentally spilt Vitamin Water all over it, and now we are updating with Oz maps to use here.
• When they say Entree, they mean Main. And when they say Marinara Sauce, they mean Neapolitan sauce.
• Tripadvisor is the best way to find good food that you never would have found otherwise. The Lonely Planet’s food recommendations were sadly not as reliable.
• We also grabbed the Zagat app to help us find decent food, which was useful in the big cities.
• Avoid Dairy Queen – worst burger ever.
• When ordering a Navajo taco, and asked if you would like Large or Small – say Small.
• In fact, that’s a pretty good rule for all food-ordering. Get the Small.
• Root beer is just disgusting.

Taking some high-speed photos at San Francisco’s Exploratorium

Putting our feet in the Pacific to prove we made it ALL THE WAY ACROSS

Getting water in my bra at Disneyland (do you like Mj’s Facing Certain Death With Grim Determination face?)

Staying at the Millennium Biltmore in LA, which you may remember from Ghostbusters, Pretty in Pink and One Million Other Films and TV shows.

Dropping off our hire car and celebrating our ability not to break it in ANY WAY despite our 10,000 km drive

Did you see that? 10,000 km! Without breaking the car OR getting shot!

Popping over to Tokyo for a few days. This was a slightly mixed experience. I love Tokyo – I lived there for six months when I was 21, and I love going back to visit, plus we got to meet up with our friend Warren who lives in Fukuoka. But I had the worst jet lag of my life this time. The first three nights I slept maybe 2-3 hours total, and the last night I didn’t sleep at all, and made myself sick with anxiety. That part sucked. But the rest of it was AWESOME. We…

Went to Akihabara Electric Town – a whole suburb of electronics stores (Mj liked this particularly).

Went to Nippori Fabric Town – a whole suburb of fabric shops (where I died and went to fabric heaven).

Went to Tokyu Hands – my favourite shop in the world.

Visited some shrines.

Did some excellent people-watching.

Ate gyoza, onigiri, teppenyaki, yakitori, chashu ramen, kaiten-zushi and ONE MILLION OTHER DELICIOUS THINGS. This was particularly exciting after the blandness of a lot of US food.

Explored the teensy cramped bars (no bigger than my laundry at home) of Piss Alley (Shomen Yokocho) in Shinjuku. Most could only fit the three of us and maybe two other people. It used to be a seedy area full of gambling dens and prostitutes, but now it’s awesome little quirky bars and great food on sticks.

And now we’re home. It’s absolutely lovely to be home, and I’m very excited about the two books I’m writing at the moment (the PhD one and Another One).

Holiday deemed a giant success!